Sleep.

One of the things that I thought I knew going into motherhood was that I wouldn't be getting as much sleep. I have always been a good sleeper. I used to go to bed every night at 10:00 pm my freshman year of college, which my roommate can confirm, because I had early classes and didn't want to miss sleep. So the idea of going without sleep for awhile was not too exciting to me, but a necessary sacrifice for my baby.

Lucas was a typical newborn, waking up every 3 hours or so to nurse, then needed to be rocked to sleep, and repeat the cycle. He started sleeping longer stretches around 3 months, right around Christmas when we went to Maryland for a few weeks. I think the longest he went was 8 hours, but typically he would go down for about 6 hours, up to eat, down for another 3 hours, then another 3 hours. This all came to an abrupt halt when we got home from our visit.

Right at about 4 months, Lucas started waking up every 3 hours throughout the night. This went on for about a month or two. I read about a "4 month wakeful period" where babies were so much more alert and receptive to stimuli that they weren't nursing as much during the day so they woke up more at night to make up for it. Ok, I can handle a period of bad sleep. But then it went on, and on. By March he was getting up about 4 or 5 times a night, sometimes every hour for stretches of time.

We had moved to San Antonio for Ben's Pilot Instructor's Training and were in an apartment complex at this point. I really felt bad letting him cry when I knew that the neighbor's could hear and it would wake them up. I had never tried to let him "Cry it Out" because he was just too little in my opinion and I didn't think it was developmentally appropriate. By this point, he was 6 months old and probably could have fussed a little more than I let him before I went to soothe and nurse him.

That was another problem, every time he woke up, Lucas wanted to nurse. And since I had just had an alarming doctor's visit where I was told he was in the 6th percentile for his weight, I wanted to let him eat as much as he wanted. So from months 7 to about 10, I really got no sleep. It was completely normal for me to get up with him 3 or 4 times a night to nurse him. He would go right back to sleep, so I would be out of bed about 15 minutes each time.

Finally, when I was home visiting for a few weeks in July and August, he started sleeping a little better. He would only wake up 2 or 3 times a night, and started sleeping longer stretches. Then, when I got back to Oklahoma, I talked to my friend, Lindsey, and we decided that we were both going to let our babies fuss a little bit more when they went to sleep and woke up at night and naps. Neither of us had ever tried to do this, so we gave each other encouragement and updates. ("Lucas cried for 8 minutes and then went to sleep for his nap!")

This really seemed to help Lucas sleep better. He would go down to sleep easier, and stay asleep longer. And when he woke up, he would fuss, but then go back to sleep sometimes. This doesn't mean that he always goes to sleep easily, and never needs to be helped back to sleep, but it was a major improvement.

Right now, he sleeps for about 11 or 12 hours at night, sometimes needing a bottle once. But some nights he doesn't wake up or need me for 12 hours straight. I am actually getting sleep! It only took a year :) but I am finally able to sleep.

With my next baby, I am going to do some things differently. I won't rush in every time I hear them make a noise. I used to hurry to get to Lucas as soon as he fussed at night, because I didn't want to wake up Ben (he was in training) and I thought if Lucas got really upset it would just take longer to put him back to sleep. I think if I had just let him fuss a little, he might have learned how to go back to sleep by himself earlier.

However, I am happy with the way everything worked out. I am a stay a home mom. I didn't have anything that required me to be fully rested and functioning all day. I was able to take naps when Lucas did, if I was tired enough. I didn't have other kids that needed me, and I was able to function with less sleep. I completely understand that other people need their babies to sleep, or have other ways of dealing with their baby, but the way I handled Lucas worked for us. Nothing that anyone could have said would have made me let my infant cry more. I was determined that he needed me, and I got to spend extra time with him. I will never have another first year with Lucas. I won't get to hold him while he naps, or sing him to sleep, or nurse him. But I did that for a year (or part of a year), and while I would have liked more sleep, I wouldn't trade it for 365 nights of 8 hours of straight sleep.